September 07 +James Grandparents

I heard recently about a little girl whose grandfather came to stay. She was fascinated by his Zimmer-frame – and even more so by his teeth which she noticed soaking in a glass. In a hushed tone she remarked to her mother ‘The tooth-fairy will never believe this’!

That story prompted me to think about grandparents in general and the very significant part they play in the life of the church. A recent survey by Christian Research showed that more than 25% of churchgoers are grandparents, and many more have great-nephews or nieces. In fact, across the denominations there are more than 850,000 people in England of grandparental age who attend church.

A large proportion of these have regular contact with their grandchildren. More than 60% see them every week, and thanks to working parents, parental illness and divorce, an astonishing 37% spend at least three days each week grandchild-minding. Some even look after their grandchildren full-time (though not on the scale of their counterparts in Africa who feed, clothe, educate and care for a whole generation of children orphaned by AIDS.) This represents a massive investment of time, energy and money; not least since grandparents are often described as the only babysitters who watch the children rather than the television!

It also means that grandparents are having a major influence on today’s young people. Sometimes this translates into faith, as it did with Timothy (2 Tim. 1.5) who ‘caught’ the faith of his grandmother Lois as well as his mother Eunice. Often it relates to values, which grandchildren can appreciate if not always share. The founder of the Taizé Community, Brother Roger, was deeply influenced by his grandmother who welcomed refugees into her home during the First World War and also went out of her way – as a Protestant – to befriend Roman Catholics. Those values of hospitality and reconciliation became fundamental to his own life and ministry.

Other ‘values’ which can be conveyed by grandparents include a perspective on family; a sense of history, and perhaps above all a model of marriage and faithfulness which not all children have in their parents. Sometimes too a little practical geography, though this doesn’t always work. One child, when asked where his grandparents lived, replied ‘At the airport. When we want them we just go there and fetch them’!

So how can the church best help grandparents?  P.C.C.s often discuss youth work – but ‘grandparent work’ hasn’t been on any agenda I’ve ever seen. Ideas range from helping them understand modern youth culture to celebrating the pride they have in their grandchildren (which is very biblical – see Proverbs 17.6). Perhaps there are ways in which mutual support can be provided; and we should certainly be praying for grandparents as well as encouraging them to pray for their grandchildren.

This is a special and valuable relationship. It can also be very demanding. Grandparents need our thought as well as our gratitude.

 +James Newcome