November 07 +James Challenge

I have been reading a fascinating book called ‘Why Men Hate Going to Church’ (by David Murrow).

As the title suggests, it is suitably racy and provocative, and not everyone would agree with everything the author says about the ever increasing ‘feminisation’ of the church.

But I frequently found myself nodding in agreement as pithy one-liners followed hot on each other’s heels. For instance: ‘Men want to know God – but want nothing to do with the church’. ‘Even when men are present, often it’s in body only’. ‘Instead of calling men back to church – we need to call church back to men’.

Murrow points out that trying to create male disciples through ‘church’ as it currently is feels rather like trying to play golf with a spade. Occasionally you’ll get a lucky shot, but for the most part it is not the best tool for the job. ‘Why don’t men go to church?’ he asks.   And the answer he provides is ‘because they’ve been’!

In fact nowadays they frequently haven’t been. But that doesn’t alter the truth of his observation that ‘the culture of church creates a spiritual temperature that most men find awkward and non-congenial’. So whereas fishermen dropped nets full of fish to follow Jesus – today’s church can’t convince men to drop their remote controls for two hours a week!

Murrow’s analysis of this non-congenial spiritual temperature revolves around what he perceives as a fundamental lack of challenge. Men, he says, like risk, variety, adventure and expansion: whereas the church promotes safety, stability, predictability and preservation. Church is sweet, sentimental and nice (sometimes!), more like a romantic comedy film than an action thriller. It values relationships and personal expression which are not always men’s strongest points; and when people think of Jesus and his followers (according to ‘Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus’) some 95% focus on feminine values. In short, church is more like the lingerie department in a big store than the power-tools counter. No wonder men don’t feel very comfortable – especially if the greatest challenge they’re offered is handing out the hymn-books!

Interestingly, churches throughout the world that are growing invariably challenge their members and those to whom they are reaching out. They also attract substantial numbers of men. Like Jesus, they attempt to confront the religious, comfort the needy and challenge everyone else. They don’t succumb to the ‘have it on your terms’ approach that has become so much the spirit of our age. What’s more they are prepared to stick their necks out when it comes to issues of belief, morality and justice. In fact the faith they live out is the opposite of what Murrow calls ‘velvet coffin Christianity’ (which simply soothes and comforts everyone to death!)

So here’s a challenge for all of us. How challenging is my church? And if the answer is ‘not very’ – what do I propose to do about it?

+James Newcome