December 07 +Graham Anxiety about our Children

Hardly a day, it seems, goes by without the national media finding some report which brings gloomy news about the nation’s children.

A recent UNICEF report, based on a large number of criteria, stated that UK children were the unhappiest amongst the developed European nations. Then we heard that the development of our children is hindered because they are no longer routinely allowed outside to play. Most recently, a consensus of parents, staff and children highlighted three particular causes of the widespread anxiety found amongst our children. They are: fear of family breakdown, fear of violent terrorism and the pressure of repeated tests at school. Nor are these fears groundless. Many children now experience their parents’ marriage breakdown, they face pressure at school and, of course, they see the news of violence on the television. It is not a happy picture; and it is undermining the excellent work of most of our primary and secondary schools. There is something of a ‘happiness crisis’ amongst our children.

In the wake of what has already been named, a string of other things can be mentioned. There is bullying; there is consumer pressure to have the latest computer game or designer clothes; there is sexual pressure at too young an age, (we have the highest rate of teenage pregnancy in Europe); there are the allurements of internet chat rooms. Many would agree that our children are being robbed of their childhood and forced into adult ways of life when they are simply not ready for them.

So what can we do? Such a multilayered problem must call for solutions at many levels. Of course we must do all we can to provide better support and counselling for our children. But we must address root causes rather than just try and heal the wounds.

What about the root causes? All the evidence shows that children are more likely to do well if they grow up in a stable home, with married parents who give them lots of support and encouragement. Why is this not said more often? Because choice of life-style has become sacrosanct; it is our greatest idol. Yet in our desire to give freedom and choice we are undermining the foundations of a healthy society in which children are happy. Children care far more about having a loving home than they do about designer clothes. Wise parents will avoid consumer dependence themselves and teach their children accordingly. They will explain that sexual intimacy belongs with marriage commitment. Most of all they will encourage faith. What is rarely said is that the root of all our troubles is that we have forsaken God.

The BBC conducted a survey a year ago into happiness. It found that happiness was related to three factors: religious faith, marriage and voluntary work. Happy homes will rear happy children.

+Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle