Bishop's letters: October 06 +Graham

ARE FATHERS NECESSARY?

Do children need fathers? Recent announcements about IVF treatment for women have raised the issue of the place of the father in a family unit in which children are raised. Is it right for such treatment to be available to women where there is no father in the home? Of course, it is well-known that many children are raised in families where there is no father present. Is the child’s upbringing adversely affected?

Where gangs of youths oppress or intimidate the residents of estates, it is commonly said that such young lads have no good male models. So is the role of the father a crucial one in child development?

Or is this really a matter of a woman’s right to a baby regardless of the pattern of family into which the child will be born? Is her longing for a baby the factor which decides the argument? Where may we look for guidance?

God created us human beings in his image, both male and female together. (Genesis ch 1 v 27) The human community was to be made up of both sexes and the essential humanity God created is one of male and female together. The need for a child to learn appropriate behaviour in the human community is best met from its earliest years by good parents, male and female. Here in the home, the child learns the significant qualities of both men and women. Furthermore, as human beings in God’s image, we reflect God in both our maleness and femaleness. A child can learn something of God’s character from both its parents.

While it is true that Jesus never married, God took care to ensure that his Son, born supernaturally to Mary, was nevertheless nurtured in a family and learnt his human behaviour from both Mary and Joseph.

And in what sense are people’s rights part of what is at issue? Does a woman have a right to have a baby whatever her circumstances? Or, rather, does a child have a right to be brought up in a good and stable home with the loving care and attention of both a father and a mother? How do we judge what is a true right?

To speak of a ‘right’ is to say that something is morally good. In the world which God created and loves, the rights that human beings have are simply to be and do what God intended. God is pure goodness; his will is always what is right. While we can make choices that are outside God’s intention, these choices are certainly not rights. There is so much confusion here. We have no right to be other than God intends. So the issue is, ‘Does God intend children to be brought up without a father model?’ If not, it is not a woman’s right to have a baby on her own.

It is God’s will and purpose that children should be born and nurtured in a family with male and female parents, thereby offering a proper learning environment in relationship to both sexes. The appropriate role model for a boy or a girl is present. Christian teaching, the Bible, the other major world faiths and the history of civilisation all give full support to this.

In circumstances of tragedy or family breakdown, a child may no longer have one of its parents in the home. Many single parents work tirelessly for the good of their offspring. However, in deliberately planning for children to be brought up without both male and female parents, through IVF treatment, adoption or in any other way, we are right outside God’s order. If, from the beginning, children do not learn healthy relationships with both sexes, we are storing up for ourselves a heap of trouble in the future.

+Graham Dow, Bishop of Carlisle